My last relationship ended in early January 2017. The year started off with a bang when my ex-boyfriend of two years decided I just wasn’t the one for him anymore. It was difficult for me at first, but over the past couple of years I have been able to grow and learn from that relationship. I was able to pin-point areas I needed to work on, and worked on them. On the flip side of that, I was able to pick out the qualities I wasn’t attracted to and I’ve been able to recognize those qualities in other men I’ve seen. 

But even with being able to recognize important qualities in myself and others, I have not had much luck in the dating scene. I’ve been on a lot of dates throughout the past two and a half years, but nobody has caught my eye enough to make me want to pursue them. And if they have, they were the ones who didn’t want anything serious. (Which, like… ALWAYS happens to me). All of my experiences have shaped me into a pretty independent woman. Here are some things I love about being single:

You Focus on Yourself

While my last serious relationship was in high school, I always put his needs before mine. I felt as if I was so “in love” with him that I was absolutely ready to give up everything for him. Let’s all laugh. I was in high school. Since that relationship ended and I moved six hours away from home for college, I have been focusing on myself. I’ve taken the time to realize what my dreams and goals are, and work hard to make them happen. Many people believe they have to find their other half in college, but I believe college is where you have to find yourself. 

You Overcome Hard Times Alone

Since my last relationship ended, my life has had many hardships. Between friends and family, there has been a tragedy on a variety of different levels. Especially when I was first adjusting to being single again, I didn’t know what to do. It was hard. And I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to deal with some of these times completely alone. Don’t get me wrong, I had friends and family to reach out to if I needed to, but for the most part I just worked through it my own. Dealing with these times alone has pushed me to realize just how strong I am. 

My Options Are Open

One of the best things about being single is that I am not tied down. I have no commitments when it comes to a significant other, and if I want to go on a date with someone… I CAN GO. Since my last relationship, I have been on a lot of dates. Honestly, I think it is good to go on casual dates when you’re single because it keeps you out in the dating game, but you don’t have to commit if you don’t want to. And all of the dates I’ve gone on up until now have really taught me that I do not want to commit to anyone right now. 

Opportunities Are Endless

For as long as I’ve been single, I have taken almost every opportunity that has come my way. I’ve gone on a travel study to China, I’ve traveled to New York City and Los Angeles a few times, I’ve gotten tattoos (a LOT of tattoos), I’ve gone to Chicago on the weekends, I booked a trip to Amsterdam. I’ve done so much by myself and for myself, and while sometimes I think these experiences would be fun with a significant other… Until that day comes and someone is totally and 100% down for me, I’m good. 

Overall, being single is not a bad thing. Being single is honestly so freeing and liberating – especially in your early 20’s. This is the time to find yourself and explore many different things in your life. If you find someone who will do it with you, that’s great. But don’t allow anyone to tie you down when you haven’t even experienced life yet. The last thing you’ll ever want to do is look back and think, “Damn… I wish I would’ve done that.” Your life is entirely up to you.